a threat I hope I don’t have to enforce

I used to never be late. My parents ingrained it into me: being late is bad – always arrive early or on time.

And then I had kids. At first, the excuses were things like:

  • I’m not used to leaving the house with a baby and haven’t figured out how long it takes.
  • The baby had a wet diaper.
  • The baby pooped right as we were loading in the car.
  • The baby spit up and I had to change his clothes.

And then the excuses were:

  • I’m not used to leaving the house with a toddler and a baby.
  • The baby pooped and the toddler was screaming because he was hungry.
  • The dog wouldn’t get out of the garage and that’s where the car is.
  • I was too tired to get up when the alarm clock went off and I overslept and now I’m perpetually behind.

And now we’re down to:

  • The kid(s) wouldn’t wake up quickly enough.
  • The kid(s) wouldn’t pick out clothes quickly enough.
  • The designated dog-feeding child complained about feeding the dogs for too long before finally feeding them.
  • The kid(s) took too long to brush teeth.
  • The kid(s) took too long to get dressed.
  • The kid(s) needed to poop.
  • The kid(s) decided to play instead of doing one of the above things.
  • I was too tired to get up when the alarm clock went off and I overslept and now I’m perpetually behind.

So this morning, when we were late leaving for the umpteenth time, I told The Boy that if he made me wait for him again tomorrow morning then on the following morning if he was not walking to the car with me when I left he would be left alone at home and would have to walk to school. Yes, I’ve threatened to leave my 7-yr old to his own devices to finish getting ready for school and walk there himself.

I sure hope I don’t have to follow through on this!

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